Sometimes It Can Be So Hard
I never expected being a mom to be an easy job. I truly expected just the opposite, but I knew it would be worth it. The night wakings were rough. Having to change my clothes due to projectile spit-up, leaky diapers, and explodes was not at all fun. Oh, and lets not forget all of the times I sat with Nick bawling because the sound of his crying broke my heart and I didn’t always know what to do (thank you hormones). Still overall Nick was a happy and easy going baby. Once we got into a groove things went pretty well. Then he got sick.
It’s hard to imagine just how clingy babies can get when they’re really sick. The cold that Nick got over Halloween wasn’t so bad. He was too sick to go daycare, and he was a bit fussy, but overall he was happy and somewhat himself. The problem came when parts of the cold didn’t go away. For a long time he had a cough and seemed pretty congested, but I didn’t think too much of it because he was completely himself. I had no clue that he was suffering from a sinus infection. Things really didn’t get too bad until he got the stomach flu. That stomach bug really made his sinus infection go from bad to worse.
He started having a hard time napping. Then he didn’t want to eat much. Finally he got to the point that he was just constantly screaming from the pain and I couldn’t put him down for anything. I had to hold him, and walk him, and rock him. He wanted Mommy bad. Daddy would not do. It had to be Mommy. It was no fun at all when the sinus infection came back and I had to deal with it all over again (although luckily on a lesser level).
Nothing could have prepared me for dealing with a very sick little boy. He constantly wanted to be held. Even if he was OK while I was at work he would cry as soon as I got home and he saw me because he wanted Mommy so bad. When he’s that sick I can’t get anything done, and he sleeps so little that it’s like having a newborn all over again. My brother and my cousin’s son had terrible ear infections and were constantly very sick all of the time. As soon as the ear infection cleared it up it came back. That went on for years! I don’t know how my mother and my cousin handled it.
Still I try to make the best of it and look on the positive side. It’s nice to be wanted so much, and I love when he falls asleep in my arms. I know that won’t last much longer. Those sick times can be really tough though. Oh well, it’s all just part of being a mom.
You sound like a wonderful mother to me. It’s hard to be everything to everybody, and you’ve done all you possibly can for your precious little guy. What a darling! We do the best we can with any given situation, and I think the guilt of not knowing what to always to eats us up and drives us crazy. I know I was a very sick small child, and my mother ignored me most of the time. The only thing I can think of to offer others is just love your little ones with what little bits of time you’ve got. I tried to do that with mine, and still suffered guilt!! Dang hard being a mom, isn’t it?
Thank you so much for the kind words. It is hard being a mom. You’re right, the best we can do is love them. Everything else will hopefully just fall into place.