Deciding On A Type Of Routine
A routine may seem monotonous and boring to many adults, but children and babies don’t see them that way. In fact they thrive on routines because knowing what is going to happen next helps them feel safe and secure. There are three different types of routines. There is no right or wrong routine. When deciding on one it is best to choose the type that works for your temperament and style and that of your child’s.
Parent Led
The first type of routine is parent led. This type is more like a schedule. For this type the parent sets the times that things are supposed to occur and then everything always happens at that time. So, for example, if afternoon nap time is at 3:00 then that is exactly when baby goes down for a nap.
Pros: The routine is very predictable. It can help with planning because you always know where you need to be when.
Cons: Keeping a baby on an exact time schedule is very difficult. An exact time schedule can easily be thrown off. Plus, you may miss out on things because you’ll have to make sure that baby keeps to the schedule.
Baby Led
Another type of routine is one that is baby led. This very simply means that you do what baby wants when baby wants it. With this type of routine there are no set times for anything.
Pros: The baby always gets what he wants when he needs it. This is also what babies are used to because this is the type of routine that is used by everyone from the moment they’re born.
Cons: This type of routine has no structure. Baby may come to want things at about the same time, but the times when things happen can easily change every day.
Combination
The third type of routine is a combination of the first two. Personally, I think this type of routine is the best choice. In this type of routine there are set times for things to be done, but times can be altered if needed. For example, if nap time should be 3:00, but baby is showing signs that he’s beyond ready for a nap at 2:30 then you put him to sleep. Later you can alter the routine for the rest of the day if needed.
Pros: This routine provides needed structure to the day, but it recognizes the fact that life happens and you can’t always make a baby do something at a set time.
Cons: This type of routine can make scheduling life a bit difficult. Nick usually ate lunch at 12:00 (4 hours after breakfast), but if he chose to sleep until 8:30 or 9:00 then we were looking at a 12:30 to 1:00 lunch time. This made setting up lunch dates a pain.
What Worked For Us
By the time Nick was a month old I realized that we had to have a structured routine. I was craving a return to normalcy. Plus I was about to return to work, so we needed to fix his night and day confusion. We decided to use the combination type of routine. Nick did really well with set times, but there were (and still are) very few days where something didn’t alter our routine. We needed to be flexible.
Nick thrived on a routine. Within a week of starting it he had his nights and days straight and started sleeping through the night. Things were a lot easier for us too, which allowed us to meet Nick’s needs better. We knew when he should be hungry or sleepy, so if he got fussy we were easily able rule possibilities out and figure out what was wrong. I truly think that putting Nick on a routine by one month (the youngest age that any routine besides baby led works for) was one of the best parenting moves we ever made.
What type of routine worked best for you and your baby?
Look for examples of actual routines in an upcoming blog post!